.Publisher's Note: The adhering to is the message of a letter from Expedition Three Leader Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Retired), reviewing the events of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not written very much regarding specifics of this objective in the course of the month I have actually been below, primarily for 2 causes: the initial being actually that there has been actually extremely little bit of opportunity to do that type of creating, as well as furthermore, due to the fact that I am actually not sure how relaxed I am actually discussing notions I show family and friends with the remainder of the globe.Well, undoubtedly the globe transformed today. What I state or even carry out is extremely small matched up to the value of what happened to our country today when it was actually assaulted through ... through whom? Revolutionaries is actually all we understand, I think. Difficult to know at whom to route our rage and also fear ...I had actually simply finished a variety of tasks this morning, the best time-consuming being actually the physical exams of all workers participants. In a private conversation following that, the flight plastic surgeon informed me they were having a quite negative day on the ground. I had no tip ...He described the scenario to me as ideal he recognized it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was shocked, after that terrified. My very first thought and feelings was actually that this had not been a genuine chat, that I was actually still listening closely to among my Tom Clancy tapes. It just really did not seem achievable on this scale in our nation. I could not even picture the particulars, even prior to the information of additional devastation began being available in.Vladimir came over pretty quickly, noticing that something incredibly severe was actually being discussed. I waved Michael into the module at the same time. They were additionally surprised and stunned. After we authorized off, I made an effort to discuss to Vladimir as well as Michael as greatest I can the potential size of this particular show of terror in midtown New york and at the Government. They plainly comprehended and were really supportive.I glanced at the Planet Chart on the computer system to observe where over the globe our company were actually and also discovered that our experts were coming southeast out of Canada as well as would certainly be passing over New England in a couple of moments. I zoomed around the terminal till I located a window that will offer me a sight of NYC as well as got hold of the local video camera. It occurred to be a camera, as well as I was actually appearing southern from the window of Michael's cabin.The smoke seemed to have an odd blossom to it at the bottom of the pillar that was actually streaming south of the area. After reviewing among the newspaper article we only got, I believe our team were actually taking a look at NY around the time of, or even quickly after, the failure of the 2nd high rise. Exactly how dreadful ...I scanned the cam during the East Shore to the south to view if I could possibly see every other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or even anywhere else, yet nothing at all was visible.It was rather challenging to think about job afterwards, though our company had some to accomplish, however on the next track our experts moved across the US further south. All three of us were actually working a couple of electronic cameras to attempt to acquire scenery of New york city or even Washington. There was fog over Washington, yet no particular resource could be found. It all appeared extraordinary coming from a couple of hundred kilometers away. I can not visualize the unfortunate scenes on the ground.Besides the psychological impact of our nation being actually tackled as well as countless our residents and also perhaps some pals being actually killed, the best mind-boggling sensation being actually where I am actually is one of solitude.Next day ... I suppose the exhaustion and also mental tension received the best of me. I could not stay awake as well as remain to write. Today was actually still difficult, but we started getting even more relevant information, plus we possessed the honor of talking straight along with the Facility Supervisor, Roy Estess, that ensured our team that the ground groups will remain to work as well as guarantee our protection, in addition to the safe operation of the Station. We additionally learnt through our Supervisor, Mr. Goldin, that included that the partners in the System are actually all entirely devoted to carrying on secure procedures and assistance. These were certainly never inquiries for me. I know all these people! The ground teams have actually been astonishingly encouraging, really understanding of the effect of the news, and have tried to become as valuable as feasible. They have all been very qualified and also focused though I can not envision the interruption of this form of updates can be found in and also the notion that government buildings could be in jeopardy. They never missed a beat, also when relocating nerve center. And also a team of elderly workers as well as friends provided us a quite extensive instruction about what was recognized and also what was actually being done in the government as well as at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was actually really useful and also sort of them to carry out in the middle of all the turmoil. The Russian TsUP has actually likewise been actually supportive and also handy, trying to uplink news articles when our personal resources were actually unusable, and saying kind terms ...My crewmates have actually been actually great, also. They know it is actually been a tough day for me as well as the individuals on the ground, and they've tried to be as also keeled and helpful as possible. Michael also fixed me my beloved Borscht soup for supper. And also they offer me a lot of area to presume when I required it. They are actually incredibly sympathetic and of course shocked at whoever will perform this.I recognize so many people in Washington, plenty of folks who take a trip to DC as well as NYC, many that are captains, that I felt sure I will receive a minimum of a couple of parts of bad news over the upcoming couple of days. I obtained the 1st one today when I discovered that the Captain of the American Airlines plane that reached the Government was actually Chic Burlingame, a schoolmate of mine. I found Chic during cadet summer season when our team resided in the D&B together, and our company had considerable amounts of classes with each other. I can not imagine what he should of gone through, as well as now I hear that he might have climbed additionally than our team can easily also consider through perhaps preventing his airplane from being the one to deal with the White Property. What an awful reduction, however I make sure Chic was combating fearlessly to the end. And tears do not circulate the very same precede ...It's complicated to explain exactly how it really feels to be the only American fully off the planet at once including this. The feeling that I should exist with all of you, taking care of this, aiding somehow, is actually difficult. I recognize that our experts get on the limit (or beyond) of a horrible switch in the past of the globe. Several factors will definitely never coincide once more after September 11, 2001. Not simply for the thousands as well as countless individuals straight impacted through these horrendous process of violence, yet most likely for everybody. Our experts are going to locate ourselves experiencing in different ways concerning dozens of traits, including possibly room expedition, however.It's horrible to observe smoke cigarettes pouring coming from cuts in your very own country from such a fantastic point of view. The duality of getting on a space probe dedicated to enhancing live on the earth as well as checking out life being actually ruined through such unforced, horrible actions is actually jolting to the psyche, no matter who you are. And the understanding that every little thing are going to be actually various than when we introduced due to the time our team land is actually a little bit of disconcerting. I believe in our country and also in our management that our experts will definitely do everything achievable to much better defend her and also our loved ones, and to bring justice of what has actually been actually done. I have self-confidence that the excellent folks at NASA will perform every thing important to proceed our mission carefully and return our team safely and securely at the correct time. And I miss each of you very much. I can't be there with you in person, as well as we possess a long way to go to accomplish our mission, yet be specific that my heart is actually along with you, and recognize you are in my requests.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An update to the final letter ... Luckily, it is actually been actually a busy full week up listed below. And also to show that, like our country, we are advancing our planned pathway along with organization as usual (as long as achievable). Tonight the current add-on to the place, the Russian Docking Area will be actually released coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday night (US time), it will definitely dock along with our team, at a slot never made use of just before on the nadir edge of the Service Module. This brand new module is going to offer our company yet another spot to dock a Progress or Soyuz and also are going to provide a large airlock with pair of useable hatches for carrying out EVA's in Russian Orlan meets, which our company will certainly carry out a few of just before our team come home.The trouble before in coping with this week was actually inadequate updates. The complication now is a lot of. It came simultaneously when e-mail was actually recovered, and there is actually inadequate time to read everything! Plus it's too challenging to deal with all of it at the same time. But I cherish acquiring it, and I actually value the terrific letters of assistance and also companionship I am getting.Our experts are actually flourishing aboard, getting our work done, as well as speaking about things. Final evening we possessed a long dialogue over supper regarding the value of these activities, the possible activities to observe, as well as what need to be actually performed. After dinner, Michael made a point of telling me that every email he received coming from close friends in Russia claimed particularly to inform me how regretful they were that this occurred, expanding their condolences, and asking exactly how I was performing. Vladimir taught me the Russian word for "condolences" after consulting with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star Urban area. (Both the Russian and also the English terms are actually considerably extremely long to verbalize simply.) Incredibly kind people.For the last pair of times, the Russian MCC has sufficed to broadcast live shows of broadcast headlines about the event and affiliated stories, to make sure I was actually properly updated. Every expert who has actually started free throw line to talk about a procedure or a complication has at some point prolonged introductions to me along with kind terms. Tonight the Russian capcom informed our team that due to the special day of recognition in the United States, throughout the day folks had been carrying florals and edging all the wall structures of the United States consular office in Moscow, and also this night they were igniting candle lights in the street outside the consular office. Exactly how the globe has changed.People everywhere seem to acknowledge the senselessness and horror in this attack. As well as the remarkable reduction. Moscow has actually handled these kind of concerns in the last few years with apartment or condo and train bombings, so they are as nervous to do away with this hazard as our company are actually. Yet the bottom collection is that there are great individuals everywhere that would like to live in calmness. I review that a kid talked to, "America is actually therefore really good to other countries, our company always aid every person, how can they despise our team a lot?".I really hope the example of participation and leave that this spacecraft plus all individuals in the program show daily are going to one day motivate the rest of the world to work the same way. They must!Sadly, our company won't be actually flying over the US while people are igniting candles. Do not know if our company can observe that anyway. We did, having said that, view an extremely unique and gorgeous view a handful of minutes ago: the launch of our Docking Area on a Soyuz booster. Our team were actually surpassing it and it appeared regarding three mins after its launch from Baikonur as the sunshine attacked our station, so it was still at night. It seemed like a huge comet with a right, large tail silhouetted versus the black earth under. Regardless of some poor lighting fixtures for a while as the sun reached our window at a low viewpoint, I managed some video of it as to begin with our company passed the rocket, and afterwards saw it begin to mesmerize as it got height as well as velocity. I shot up until main motor cutoff and enhancer splitting up happened equally we moved toward daybreak on the Mountain ranges. A memorable attraction in an extraordinary full week ...Life goes on, even precede. Our company are actually below to keep ... Frank.